Consent letters and Anonymous Letters

I heard the most absurd thing recently. Enhanced security features for our Generation Yo (this is getting very cheesy now).
"Every first year who is a participant for any event, should get a consent letter from their parents or warden to participate in the event".
You might think I'm kidding and this is some kind of a joke I'm cooking up to get more hits into the site and out wit my latest competitions. No I'm not. I went WTF after hearing this. I pondered, why? How did things worsen and reach this state of absurdity?

I mean I'm not saying this security measure is a bad idea. It's good to get the permission of your parents and do something at least once in your lifetime.
I dont know how you first years are feeling about this. Feeling secure enough? Yuck isn't it?
I empathise with you.
These kids come with high expectations about college life and this is what they get stuck with.
They have to come to college wearing that tag thingy which  we only bring during exams to identify that we belong to this college and bear the taunts of seniors saying its like a dog's collar.
Then they were defied entry for the acclaimed Pro show of Stephen Devassy again due to the fears of ragging.
They cant blog without fearing the wrath of seniors.
They cant safely make a trip to Oberon without meeting a score of seniors who practically live there.
Now they have to get permission letter to participate in events.
Next they will start issuing school diaries where you will have to get a leave letter, and teachers can write 'bring parent' if you happen to doze of in class.
Yes. We can expect that too soon.
Wait something crossed my mind right now.

MH Freakan: Consent from Parents or warden. Who is our warden da?
MH Dude: Warden?? *thinks for a long while*. Is it out hostel secretary??
MH Freakan: Shyam Chandran ???

Note: That was a joke. Please show the decency to laugh.

Has ragging reached such uncontrollable heights? To spice things up I read that article in expressbuzz.com the other day. Whoever wrote that crap lacks creativity. Anonymous letter, bullocks. Either its some pissed off First year who just tried his luck or its a cooked up story as stated to tarnish the name of the college. It is true that the "complaint box with the name and the telephone numbers of the principal and other respective officials are yet to be arranged". "The tollfree antiragging number and notices warning about the consequences of criminal proceedings in case of ragging are not displayed in the college or on hostel premises."

But does MEC need all this?? Ragging is a menace I agree. But its not so jaw droppingly serious issue over here that needs the interference of the authorities. Cause I believe things wont go out of control. This assurance is partially due to reason that we dont have the nerves to take things out of control. We know to draw the line and play things safe, don't we??
Things were worse before, but such mockery of our college dint get into the media back then because things were taken lightly. The mental trauma of ragging? We all know, as soon as the seniors turn the back on you people you curse their entire family tree. 
Frustrations can crop up I agree. But still, reply truthfully. Is ragging so intense and extreme that it has inflicted you with suicidal tendencies or resentment to society?
I dont know, you say.
Let me go get my consent letter to continue blogging. Should I get it signed from Principal??

Generation Yo

Well I'm not talking about the global trend, just the minor fraction of our college, the youngest and the most fresh guns out there in MEC. Well I was inspired to write this post after reading one of our passout's Facebook status.

Now MEC is like an extended version of higher secondary school... Full of yo gangs even at canteen... Heartful thanx for all the seniors for making our college life so beautiful!

I did some research into the matter and was surprised indeed. I christened our First years as Generation Yo. They are a herd apart.
Generation Yo Profile:

• They are segregated into gangs.
• You will never find a gang more than 5-6 students. 
• They know only english.
• They essentially don't have a life and practically live online.
• dey typ lyk dis. 
• They call each other cool dudes and rock stars though they all look like punks.
• Hobbies include:
• 'Freaking out' in major malls in the city.
• Making blogs of their class.
• Walking in groups around college and giggling

They are hip and happening. They make the final year Freakanmar's of MH look like ~@~ (Its a gtalk smiley).
 From different stories I found a few are so arrogant and have total disregard for anything institutional. Like me. Well I don't retort to teachers in classes and all. I'm insecure. I just like hide and bitch about people.

OK joke time.
Q: What did one First year say to another when they got bored?
A: Lets freak out.

Previously such people were only found during a Yi meeting. Now that was 2 years ago. Yi MEC was simultaneously  called Yo MEC cause only the so called Yo teams joined Yi. Well that myth is totally shattered this year. Zero percent Yo infection detected in this year's Yi Net. Which is actually a good trend. Now Yi has a better reach among students I believe. It was not a planned consequence, but that it just happened like that. (I'm digressing from topic).

Now a whole batch is infected with such people. Actually infected is such a harsh word to use (sorry). Its like they live in an isolated island in the college, reaching to them one has to surpass blood thirsty sharks and patrol guards. Even if you reach there you will be caught before you make an escape plan.
Well as long as there is no access to get to that island there is no way to do an eye opener class and show them there is a world outside.

Blogs. I don't actually get it. Why Blogs? You have communities and groups to do groups sharing and which are rich in technology that supports group conversation why blogs which is much more administer centred. Whatever it is, its an trend shift. These blogs they record all the activities that happen in their day to day lives at college. Also the blogs have really interesting names which sound like some internal body parts (dentrites? oops its electrites. My bad).

When I made a community in my first year it seemed like a suicidal thing to do. First an enquiry will be made, which is an interview with a panel of 5 members. Then they ask questions which will make your skins curl. Then they say to delete the community or else something else will get deleted. Simple instruction, in an easy to follow manner that you instantly delete the community. But it was fun in a way to look back at what happened those days.

I'm not saying all this is bad. Its not an issue about good or bad. But the point I want to make is the communication gap that is happening right now is going to put a dent on our college culture. What is the most beautiful thing about our college? Its the closed loopness. Everybody almost knows everybody.The thing about the people in Yo land is they are not willing to come out. Scared or lack of interest, whatever it may be unless this is tackled, in a few years MEC will be something entirely different from what we see now.
So my dear Generation Yo, I know you people have the sense of humour to take this lightly. So do take this as part of e-ragging by your non existent senior. Consider this as an initiation. A whole world of college life awaits you, so don't live it amongst yourselves.

Ok question time. Decode the letters in the above image. What do they signify?

Until next time,  Ciao.

All work and no play...

Who remembers this image from the iconic cult horror movie Shining? Jack Nicholson goes hay wire and spends day and night typing this: "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy....". So what am I upto this time?

Lets go some 5 years into the future. Our present First years are pass outs and happily leading their lives. So imagine one of them is asked this question:
"So you are from MEC right? What is the most cherished memories you have taken from your college life?". The guy would think for a while, a long while and answer:
"Well....we never got a chance to have much fun you know, always stuck inside the college. The only thing I recollect from college is endless assignments we used to write by doing night outs. It was awesome ! ".

Teacher comes to class, dictates a few questions or some topics from a module which he/she did not understand from the textbook. Then the teacher gives a 'last date for submission' and if you screw this up you are sure to reap the consequences in HELL !!
Days go and the eve of 'date of submission' arrives.
Thanks to a handful of students who are awake in the class, the others rush to Netsavvy to take xerox copies of their assignment. Then its a night out, if you have 4-5 assignments to be submitted the next day.
This topic has potential to be discussed on another post so let me get to my point back.
All work and no play.
Some of us don't get to see a lot of the outside world much. Its always the way to college and way back home. Monotonous, dull boring...

GOA, heaven on earth our seniors said to us. Its the deepest desire of every man to go to Goa. We started to make big plans. Never have I seen so much organising capability in some of my friends when they started making the Industrial Visit plans. But like a slap on the face, the whole game was foiled and some stupid reason was given to us (Drinking issues it seems ).
But we dint let the IV get cancelled. A round trip within South India, got drunk, had fun, came back.
So where did our Third years go for IV this year, asked one of the passouts to me. I replied, "dude IV got cancelled". B-e-a-utiful. Some IHRD rule got passed it seems.
When colleges prescribe an Industrial Visit compulsorily in the curriculum and when students get to go on all India trips, we get it cancelled. I'm not talking here about the exposure about visiting a company and the pure awesomeness of getting to know about the infrastructure etc. All that is bullcrap.
5 days, we get to spend on a vacation, with the total class with whom we have been bonding for the past 3 years, the moments of crazyness we share, the fun and frolic, this is what I was talking about. These unforgettable memories we take away, which shall remain etched in our hearts forever. (OK, I'm being too emotional here.)
I hope I have driven home the point on how much you are going to miss this, how much is at stake, haven't I? Its evident we all understand this and regret this ill fated decision. But here is the irony.
Nobody gave a shit about it. No one retorted. Wonderful again. We all are to blame here and not the just the victims.
Every member of the senate, every one in this college should have raised their voice against this. The fact that this situation is no more solvable means that we did not even care about our juniors and how much of their college life is being stripped out from the. Its brutal, sadistic.
Its not that easy as saying it here, I know that. Some IHRD rule, it seems, got the IV cancelled. We were threatened Arts would get cancelled, but all is well now right? Negotiation is the key. IHRD has rules maybe, but we have some rights and desires, which unless greatly unreasonable and greatly stupid and impossible, should NOT be denied under no circumstances. That is why we have a college management body with the majority being us students.
And we all know its not some IHRD crap that has happened here. Its crystal clear what has happened in the backend. Knowing this very TRUTH we let the sand get washed up right under our feet. Grave injustice has happened here.

Oh ya I almost forgot. So if you want to go on a trip from college register into TREE and plant some trees right away. Tree will somehow manage to get permissions to go on tours.

Reaping the Consequences

They barged into our class room. They looked so determined and frustrated. We were just deciding who should be going to the senate elections when they disturbed our discussion. Politely seeking permission to speak, one of them spoke. It was two years ago when new rules were imposed on becoming a senate member.

• 80% attendance.
• No back logs in the year of contesting the election.

They warned us this is going to be a menace in the future and asked us to join the strike. We all were glad to do it. Its anyways better than sitting in class and existing in the "Thrishanku swargam" of sleepiness and staying awake. Strike all the way !!!

Then we all assembled at the auditorium. A small short guy spoke. He spoke with vigour, anger and surely fuelled our veins. He explained how this will be a menace in the future for all of us.
Some one interrupted him and said those iconic words which will be etched in our college memories forever. "....Hitler, Hitler aanu ayal ! Hitler *beep* ".

We were all charged up. It was really wonderful to watch our small college become united for a cause. I pity some of you who couldn't be part of this famous incident and who dint listen to that iconic speech that day in the auditorium.

Rest as we all know, are consequences which we are facing now. Hitler being a great tactician said he wouldn't let 3rd years go for their IV that year if they participated in the strike. Wonderful idea, blackmail and divide and rule. Then the next day the strike was called off for discussions.
The rule was relaxed and all went well that year, Arts, sports, etc.
This year we again ask for a relaxation in the rule and its a big NO !

"If you wanted a relaxation in the rules, you should have got the rule dismissed 2 years ago when you all striked. Now its a rule. Buhahaha"

was the response we got this year.
wow! so convenient.


You know what? I'm bored writing this post. Its so disappointing.
Its confirmed we wont have a class wise house splitting this year. May be lets do this.
Like Tylor Durden sas in FIght Club, I'm going to give you a homework assignment.
Write a program to automate the splitting of houses this year. The program should take input from our attendance list and output 5 lists, one for each house. They will be glad to have such a program. A fully automated system!!

And come up with really creative name for the houses. Here is my list of houses.
1. Draculans
2. Werewolves
3. WerePigs (Inspired by 'The Oatmeal')
4. Anacondans
5. Contrans

Send in your creative names to fake.mecian[at]gmail[dot]com . We don't have any other better work to do right??

Parakum Thalika !!!!

No, no. Its not the illustration of Jumbo Circus. Its our dear college bus. You notice the number plate and all right? I did it all in a hurry. Really bad picture. Sorry about that driver chetta. Any ways the point is the couple on top of the bus dint get enough room inside and decided to shift up. They must be really feeling like Jack and Jill right now. wow!!
This is almost literally how I found the future of our country getting jammed up inside the bus the other day. Just like the VIP underpants advertisement even we decided to adjust, adjust, adjust and this is the state of affairs right now. (Enjoy the VIP ad here) LOL. Hope you dont mind that. :P



Our college owns 2 buses and a Fire Engine. And that Fire Engine is missing right now which is why many of us have to return back home like we have worked in the mines. Where is our Fire engine? I heard its been sent to get painted.

The other day I paid my college fees and I remember I paid Rs 700 as Bus fee. Many of us don't even travel by bus, and we pay the Bus fee.
3 years ago some poor clever guys from the hostel thought:
MH dude 1 : Hey man, we pay Rs. 700 as bus fees right?
MH dude 2 : Yes, machu.
MH dude 1 : Why the hell man? We never travel in the freaking bus even once. Why should we pay the fees.
MH dude  2: You are so right dude. What shall we do?
MH dude 1 : *evil smile* we will fill up the buses and make life miserable for all!!
MH dude 2 : Sinister plan dude. You are the MACHAN!!
MH dude 1: B-) !! I know..

 And as planned all the hostelers, MH, non-MH guys all filled up the bus. The door was jammed that people started climbing in through the windows. Now this was a little odd to all. When there wasn't room for teachers to sit something had to be done. The guys actually planned to get down at palarivattom and travel all the way back just to show their protest. Neat idea.
Smokey enters the scene. He analyses the bus. "What to do now?? Oh! yea."

Smokey: All those who are not in their uniforms, GET OUT!!
All the clever guys dint expect this clever idea from our dear old smokey. As was the case, many of our guys had changed their uniforms so they had to leave the bus. Contented with himself smokey left to Fathimas to finish his Cig and a cup of tea.
Lesson learnt: Respect your uniform.
Just kidding. Next day smokey comes and shouts "who wants to protest against the bus fees". Pin drop silence..............................

Then we ignorant fools were explained that the college will use the money for good cause to mankind and humanity and we all have to pay the fixed amount no matter what.

Ok I agree its CUSAT rule that college can take a fixed amount as bus fees, but i dont think SOE takes Rs.700 and run a suicidal bus packed with 700 something students. I think its a crime.
Ok challenge time. Who has the guts in their butts to ring up the cops and inform about this grave danger that we are forced to invite into our lives?? Who?
Winner of this challenge wins a free "I'm the Real FakeMECian" T shirts.

So whose gonna be the winner?? (I'm serious about the T shirts ;-) )

I'm BACK !!

Missed me? Of course you did. After all I was the next best thing to happen to our college since the last TEQUIP fund allotment. LOL, just kidding.
When I came, MECians had a new thing to talk during break time(after all that's all we do right, talk), but I left you all disappointed for a while, dint I. Really sorry about that people.

I heard many stories regarding my sudden departure. Some thought I was busted. Others thought I was caught and suspended. Some people think I retreated scared as the authorities filed a Cyber cell case against me (LOL).Well well now you can discard all these away as I'm back.

I held back the blog for a few days not that I was busted, scared etc. It was going a little off course, from what my purpose was. So I decided to pack up my bags and wait for some change to happen. But as we all just like to be entertained, comment anonymously and just write blogs, nothing happened. (Not surprised, I know my college).

An extract from google's privacy policy about blogs.

Google only shares personal information with other companies or individuals outside of Google in the following limited circumstances:

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  We have your consent. We require opt-in consent for the sharing of any sensitive personal information.

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  We provide such information to our subsidiaries, affiliated companies or other trusted businesses or persons for the purpose of processing personal information on our behalf. We require that these parties agree to process such information based on our instructions and in compliance with this Privacy Policy and any other appropriate confidentiality and security measures.

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  We have a good faith belief that access, use, preservation or disclosure of such information is reasonably necessary to (a) satisfy any applicable law, regulation, legal process or enforceable governmental request, (b) enforce applicable Terms of Service, including investigation of potential violations thereof, (c) detect, prevent, or otherwise address fraud, security or technical issues, or (d) protect against harm to the rights, property or safety of Google, its users or the public as required or permitted by law.

So forget about tipping off the cyber cell to catch me.

The only thing that gives me nightmares is that little piece of paper in which our beloved overlords etch the magical words, Good/Bad/Ugly before I leave the college, lest I be caught.

But leaving the getting caught part, I'm legally clean as a whistle.
So this only means that I'm back to blabber endlessly and make lives miserable for those who hate me.

" I saw a distant storm, the wind which smelled fresh of a new beginning, change, victory. But the wind changed course and burned down my house.  #FML "

Just kidding guys. I loved all your comments and regards which helped me write more. But many comments were going in the wrong direction. Unnecessary ones.
Things started to pile up and stink and I decided to burn down the house and start afresh.

This is an open portal. What I write and what you comment is open to anyone out there in the internet. So my dear friends comment in a reasonable fashion. Thats all I ask of you people.

Another important announcement, I cant carry forward alone any more. So I invite fresh, creative articles from you people. If you have that flair to babble better than me, if you think some thing need to be addressed just mail your articles, songs, poems, stories, cartoons directly to fake.mecian[at]gmail[dot].com and get your article on the Blog.

And when you send in your mails to me give yourself a nickname. No one in their right minds would want their names etched on this blog and risk getting kicked in the arse. :D

So here I take off again...

IMPORTANT !!!!

In response to the request from the Senate Chairman and some of the fourth years i would like to clear my name of some issue that has been around for a while. 
The profile pointed to by the link in the following comment is not mine. As you can see the id used to create that profile is not the one I'm using (fake.mecian@gmail.com is mine).





"http://fakemecian.blogspot.com/2010/01/laptop-ban.html?showComment=1265223343763#c7139040412996714753"


Also the pictures uploaded in the profile are also not my doing. I don't have any affiliation with the owner of that profile or what his/her purpose is.

Also I bear no responsibility on the comments made in this Blog, although I'm filtering and deleting a lot of them. Many comments are good and serve our purpose but a lot of them are misleading. Some are abusive but there are others which are made with no relevance to the post or what I've said but they accuse me of wrong doing. What ever I write on the Blog is out of my free will and I do so after careful thinking and editing. Reading my blog and responding should be out of your free will too. So when you respond keep in mind to discuss about the post and other relevant matters. The mission of the blog is to facilitate a medium for we students to voice our needs. So lets focus on that in a matured manner and not just use the blog to vent our frustration. Lets keep our side clean so that there is nothing to blame on us.

The FakeMECian lives in this blog. And also the twitter user 'fakemecian' is also myself. So you know where to find me. Its not in some classroom or through social engineering.  Just type www.fakemecian.blogspot.com or www.twitter.com/fakemecian or mail me @ fake.mecian@gmail.com to reach me. Stop looking for me. Listen to me if you have time.

This is my Orkut Profile:
http://www.orkut.co.in/Main#Profile?uid=8086241185085774567

Until then Good Luck !!
FakeMECian

The List full of Failures

MEC FORT
There have been a number of developments in college since Smokey got into power. That includes enhanced security in the wake of concern over our present terrorist filled society. (But what about security from terrorists in the inside ? Terrorists who bombard our lives with boredom? )

• New rolling shutters at the entrance : Beautiful greasy new rolling shutters have been fixed at the front entrance. Keeping goats out of the campus  was the burning problem that was affecting the students, apparently. Only a senate meeting wasn't conducted to discuss this burning issue, that's all. It was a matter that needed immediate attention.
  
• Big gate small gate: Now there are four + one = Five gates in college. All except one small tiny one are locked at all times except during lunch and for a few hours after 4 30 PM. Security has been tightened manifold. We are almost invincible!! Nobody can invade MEC!! Oh wait.. I forgot.. MEC is a college, right? Or was there some declaration changing it to ‘Model Engineering Fort’ status? Before you know it, 2 college German Shepherds and an electric fence will appear. 

But more than the limitation that they impose, the gates stand for the overall atmosphere of MEC. There are no more open welcoming gates around here. Everything is hostile. The whole place is now a cage, a zoo. Now this move by the authority is more psychological.

• Enclosed bike parking lot: A failed attempt to ensure that all students park only in the Shawshank style enclosure, with the giant power tower at the centre that must stand for Smokey’s towering (wish to) control over everything( Remember Mordor..The Eye..Dark Lord ??).  Too bad that didn’t work out

• Closed library and CC: The college library is truly loaded. There are so many thousand books, everything that a technical or art loving reader would want. The only difficult part is, getting to the books.  If you are preparing your paper for a paper presentation contest and you want to make last minute references, you have three options:
     
• - Go to the library – Oops, the watchman will tackle you before you even get to the library door’. Even if you do get there, you won’t be able to enter because the library will be sealed shut. Churukki paranjaal, if you want to borrow a book at night: 

1. Katta Paara eduthukondu varuka.
2. Watchmane adichu veezhthi.
3. Lock kuthippolichu door thorannu and sign in the register (This part is really important).
4. police ethunnathinu munpu book eduthu odikkonam. 

Now that is an adventurous way to take a book from the library thanks to the prevailing situation. Must be fun right, after all in our uneventful life.

•  - Take your laptop ( if you DARE) and log on to the IEEE portal and track down the necessary paper, but oops!! It can be downloaded only from the CC using the college accounts! So head straight for the CC… but then again.. ^** (Problem repeat,  JMP -Go To Library-).

I hear my friends talk about how in IIT’s and NIT’s go to their libraries and computer centres near midnight and freely look up whatever they want to, without having people stick guns up their asses – the true spirit of learning. I wonder what the point is in shutting the doors instead of opening them in welcome. Isn’t this the place where we should feel welcome? Or is that too much to ask? No wait we are not one of the top engineering colleges in the country to provide such out-of-the-earth, IITian privileges, right?

There are a lot of things that don’t deserve too much attention, and therefore, haven’t been bothered about:

• Classrooms: Our classes are stuck between ancient and modern traditions. We have very well ventilated classrooms, with lots of windows. But the problem is, the majority of the windows have no latches. They are nailed shut. Don’t ask me why. Fans provide sound energy and also a little wind energy. We have 2 plug points in each class of approximately 40 students. Usually, only one works. While all major colleges have lecture hall each equipped with its own LCD projector and screen, we still have rickety old boards, most of them in, as some say, 'Thurumbu Scene'.

• Projectors: We have lots of projectors in college. Each department has three categories of projectors – the ones that work alright, the ones that work sometimes and the ones that are prototypes. I remember one particular projector that stayed with a broken lamp for over a year. Most of these unfortunate machines have some part of their anatomy missing. Most don’t have their height adjust release button. Some have VGA cables that add whole new ‘colours’ to the projected image. We also have crippled projection screens that behave like some of us, when we are drunk, and keep swaying from one side to another, never standing straight.

• Sound system: We have a truly mind boggling sound system in the college ‘auditorium’. Every speaker that works, has a default noise that comes  with the sound. The amplifier, as the story goes, was installed in the auditorium when the college was established (1990). To preserve the nostalgia its still kept there as a symbol of eternal 'noise'. The Ahuja Amplifier website claims the company is seventy years old. So our amplifiers might as well be the first ones they made. While our ‘competitor’ colleges have Bose sound systems, we still live with Ahuuuuja! 

• Amphitheatre: (I don't even know what it means !). Yes we have an amphitheatre at college. We cultivate GRASS on it. The central region of the building is actually an amphitheatre. Apparently about 10000 rupees was spent on planting some special variety of grass in it. Our college is a nice place to learn about step farming. Students are barred from damaging the fancy grass ( which I’m sure I have seen along the road leading to my house) or any other wild bush that grows in the amphitheatre.

• Net connection: We luckily have an 8mbps net connection. But its only in documents and 'parachil'. We all experience the Internet in the highest speed possible, don't we? There are often talks among the people who practically live in the CC, that we should complain and get all connections upgraded. But those remain inside the walls of CC just like those people.

Conclusion: Our MEC is now a Special Government Institution. Now, you will not find such a usage in any law book. Let me explain what an SGI is – it is a government institution where all the usual evils ( corruption, inefficiency, non-punctuality) exist, but where everything concerned with student freedom is the direct opposite of government offices. Thus such an institution will have the bad sides of both government and private institutions.  Now I may have missed a lot of points. This is only an appetizer. One may argue what's the use complaining about every possible thing that is wrong. Well that's not the point I'm driving at. I've this habit of listing out my failures in a piece of paper. After listing them, I spend sometime reflecting upon them.. where I went wrong.. what changes I need to make, to improve. After that I take a lighter and burn that list. Now this is symbolic (Don't jump into conclusions that I'm crazy). It symbolises the death of failures (get it!!). Marks a new beginning. This is one such list I've made. A List of Epic Failures of our college. I suggest you all to use the comment section to add to the Epic Failure list. After that lets all reflect on these issues. And lets all work together to burn this list. (Please comment to express your opinion and not just to vent your frustration. Use the blog as a portal to make SOLUTIONS ) Stay tuned for the post to follow.  The MEC Wish List.....

The Great Raid.

You know I’ve been wondering.. A while back, when the whole ‘confi’asco began, we heard that somebody’s phone was confiscated and that poor lad was summoned up to the room and asked why there were inappropriate messages in HIS INBOX. Yea you heard it right, Mr. Smokey actually read through  his inbox. Now some would say that was very appropriate (some is well bred, about six feet tall, has the body (and mooch) of a walrus and gets paid a sizable sum monthly for assisting us in the labs..you know, with our projects and stuff. There is a cash prize for the user to identify this person ). Some would further go on to add that being the head of the institution, Mr. Smokey is entitled to go through any kind of personal property of anybody who dares to step foot in the college. So imagine if somebody has a statement underwear (you all know statement tee shirts, but only a few know about the existence of  statement chaddies ). If Smokey gets a fleeting glance at it or has a gut instinct that something’s not right about your chaddie, you are obliged to strip and prove your innocence/crime.


Jan 26^th was India’s 60^th Republic Day, which means 60 years since the big fat book a.k.a the Constitution ( in short, Consti – as referred to by lawyers)  was delivered by one Mr. Ambedkar. One of the many things that went through Mr. A’s mind when he made the Consti was a wee something called PRIVACY. One word to describing India’s IT act is ‘vague’. Probably because there aren’t as many geeks in the Parliament as there are in MEC. This in turn implies that nobody really has an idea of what the hell happens in the IT world every day. But even they were sensible enough to include a clause for the ‘Protection of privacy of personal records’. Now unless we go about broadcasting our inboxes on Twitter, I think they fall into the category of “PERSONAL RECORDS”. So I ask my cuz, who’s a busy lawyer at the High Court of Kerala.

Me: ‘….So this guy in college got ducked cuz Smokey found inappropriate messages in his inbox.
Cuz:  ‘SUE!’
Me: ‘Eh?’
Cuz: ‘SUE!’
Me: ‘ Dude, you just say that out of habit or wat?’
Cuz: ‘No dude, sue him! That’s violation of your right to privacy’
Me: ‘Really…. ? hmmm…’  play sinister villain background music

About 50 phones were confiscated the day before (and returned yesterday, I hear) in a very "productive" raid (in response of this humble endeavor I’d like to  hope). Some were picked from bags without the knowledge of the owner. Surprisingly, there was no gender discrimination this time over ( an exception by a group that usually considers girls to be alien demigods – I promise we’ll discuss that later) .Girls, boys and everything in between had their bags searched, guys had their pants searched.. A lot of girls surrendered their phones before the same fate befell them ( wise move, ladies). I don’t know what it is that motivates the gang – is it the sense of being able to enforce power over people who are guaranteed to not react, is it a sense of sadistic satisfaction that one gets while playing a make-believe Sherlock Holmes  game? I guess we’ll never know, because I cannot connect with that sort of a thought process. I hope none of you can either. Anyway, the point I’d like to reflect upon is what happened between the time of confiscation and the return of the phones. There are a number of possibilities:

The phones were kept locked up in a cupboard and left untouched ( ha ha) .

What actually happened (Rumor has it that laughter was  heard..Its just a rumor though..)

 So lets come to our hero of the day. Lets call him Cell Phone Hero. His Facebook status is ‘Committed’. And he’s not bluffing. He’s got a girlfriend. Very cute couple. CPH’s dad, mom, grandmom, granddad and everyone else in the surviving generations of the CPH family is summoned.
Dad tells Chimm that he knows about the girl. Bad move. Lecture on morality.
Dad says my son is innocent. Worse move. Short session on moral degradation of the parents.
Dad says Chimm is wrong. Fatal move. Curses and chides at the dad, not the kid. Dad is made to understand how morally depraved he is, and how he should be ashamed of himself for leading his son in the wrong path. Subsequently he is poked fun of by the gang, which is always around.  Dad returns home, cursing how he wasted a precious swimmer on such a worthless investment.

Now this issue is fresh. And obviously we are going to dig its grave soon like its predecessors. Right? That is the MEC way, that is our tradition. This kind of an act from the authorities is to inflict fear and rule. Something that used to happen during the reign of Hitler. So your college life is pretty much doomed. 
So as V for Vendetta would say

The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous.

 

Vendetta?? No way. We are either too lazy or too busy to take action against such atrocities even if it questioned our own Privacy. We got assignments and home works to do. So lets get back to our "busy" life and do nothing about it.

Laptop Ban

Let me start with a question. Can you relate our college with something? Well I like the comparison with a graveyard. Don't get me wrong. Our college is not situated on top of a graveyard or something though there are zombies walking and smoking around, you know who I mean. So back to the graveyard. Why a graveyard?
Its not a graveyard of dead bodies, no. But its a graveyard of incidents, promises, student identity, student rights and student dignity. That's what it is. These are all  dead here.
Now I'd like to unearth one such "dead" incident which occurred sometime ago.
                                            The Laptop's death!

  

Of course we don't use our laptops like this dude. But Laptops are indispensable objects in our life. Just like mobile phones. They are small, robust, they add the style factor, and most of them are not sluggish like our college 'high-end' PCs. 

Scenario:

Imagine what would you have done about some abstract/project you have to submit an hour from now without a your personalised laptop?

You go to the CC. Switch on a system. "Damn man its Linux" (btw Linux rox). Now you need to edit some content in your flash drive. 

Freak:"Dude where are the files in my pen drive?"

Geek:"You need to mount it man."

Freak: "Mount? Wassat??" *Scene Contra*

Lesson learnt: We all love to work in our personalised zones.

Laptop has become our identity and our best buddy. What's the point of having 2Mbps Wi-Fi if no one had a laptop. For kicks?

So this small buddy of ours gives us so much power in our finger tips, flexibility so who in their right minds would want to separate our dearest buddy from us?

And in a society which is at its verge of implementing OLPC in schools we have a Laptop Ban in a technical college?? Are we evolving backwards?

Story:

Not so long ago, in the age of tyranny of Hitler a.k.a Smokey, an innocent guy was using his lappy during a free period. It was a free period and as all free periods are devoid of silence or in other words from some eminent people in our college, the class was a market ! Smokey supposedly was around went into the market and saw our hero with his laptop.

Smokey: Who gave you permission to use a laptop in MY college?

Hero: brrrrr...

Somkey: What great Doctrine you want to gain by using laptop in class? Cant you read your text books??

Hero: brr....

Smokey: What? How much electricity is being wasted, do you have any idea? How much Wi-Fi is being sucked up? How much cash can go into my pocket if you all tech idiots stopped bringing this stupid box to college, do you have any idea??

Hero: bbrrrr...

Smokey: SHUT UP!!

Hero: .............

*Scene DPK*

The rest as we all know is the infamous laptop rule: no student is allowed to use his/her laptop inside college premises without a permission from the Headless guy of the department and the Principal. The incident was an instant talk all over the college. Refinement after refinement, which our teachers are experts in doing (refining a simple story into an action packed 2 hr bollywood movie), when the story was re-told our hero was supposedly watching a movie in the class. 

Oh! by the way our TECHIP aided college also has laptops. Now that's a relief. So how do we get to use this "boon"? Go request it via the class advisor (yea the one who rings your parents) to the college office. So after some days you get the permission to use the thing* (* conditions apply).

Woah! Its a beast man. Core duo, 256MB RAM (!!), 80GB HDD.(seriously?)

The instant access to Internet, the REAL source of knowledge (which is forbidden by our syllabus in the first place) is being deprived to us by this rule.

When even the supreme court is digitalising, our college gets a Laptop Ban. And we dream about competing with the IITs. 

Where do you see the "technical excellence" that we are supposed to be receiving here.

After two days of cursing each other, the teachers, Smokey and his great grandfathers, this incident dies as we fall busy into the rat race that we call life. Did we do anything about it. Who cares man? Wait we forgot the college senate. We could have represented the issue through the official "management body" of the college in front of the teachers. Man, the next senate meeting is after the next senate election. Perfect! Senate meetings are like Arts and Sports. Once in an academic year.

So our Hero licks Smokey's feet and also all the feet of other teachers in our college, gets his laptop back after a week or so. Did any senate/student body help our Hero? (Man he is the hero, he doesn't need help ) Its his problem and we don't want to get wet in it, right?

So what do we get an idea about ourselves from this incident?

We are all Heroes in our college. But when the 'smoke' blows at your face our feet trembles. Why? 

Think about it...

Until then lets all stand in queues for the autographs of our HODs and teacher. Its a rare opportunity fellows. We are blessed.